I received a ton of paperwork from the facility to be completed. Everything from a detailed biography to various release forms for drug stores, doctors, and the like. We were also contacted about clothes and personal items he still needs...so I guess today was an "administrivia" day.
Even in the midst of working through grief and loss, the administrative details that structure our lives go on. Somehow in the next few days I need to pull together an amended financial aid petition for my daughter (the costs of our son's placement might tip the balance for eligibility), complete all the paperwork the facility requires (including the aforementioned biography), begin the process to refinance the house (so we can get the money to pay the facility), get his pediatrician to sign a form stating he can't complete the school year for medical reasons, and get his academic records released from his high school, and shop for and ship the remaining required clothes he needs. Perhaps this is the universe's way of letting me know I need to pull myself together...by burying myself in busywork?
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I just caught up on the past three day's posts.
ReplyDeleteFirst, please don't think that your son truly means what he said in the letter he sent you. He was speaking the truth of what he felt at the moment, but I guarantee, when this is all done, he will thank you. He will deny right now. For awhile, he's going to feel betrayed, but as a parent, you had to do what you did.
No, your decision was not "pretty drastic." It was necessity done out of love for your son. It was done because you want to see him live a happy, loving, full life. That's not too much. We all want that for our children.
If I ever face the same situation as you, you can bet I'll make the same choices you and your husband did. I will do anything to help my kids.
I think you're right that you need to focus on busywork. If you don't, your mind will wander to things that are going to make you hurt. Yes, your son is not with you right now, but your daughter and husband are, and they need you. Also, your son needs you to stay strong and focused. Believe me. He needs you to be the mom that doesn't cave under pressure. He needs the mom that can continue with her life even when faced with difficulties. By doing so, you are teaching him and your daughter some very valuable lessons. I know my parents taught me a lot about that and set a very positive example for me.
Your son is going to realize at some point that you don't want him to be perfect and you don't expect him to be. But what you do expect and want is for him to be happy and healthy.
*Hugs*