Day 8

Well, its been a week. If he's there 8 months, that means we're about 1/32 of the way through this...so we're still on the starting line.

I chose to let his sister open the letter herself. She read it, and then asked me if I'd like to read it. He just asked her to contact his band members and his ex-girlfriend (well actually in Facebook terms it's probably more of "in a relationship but its complicated" than ex), just so that they'd know what had happened, and didn't think he was ignoring them. No plots or pleas to break him out...just a well reasoned letter saying he was sorry he hadn't gotten to know her better, and that he hoped he'd be home before she went to college. He ended with a request that she write to him every day. I can't see anything but good coming from that - what brother and sister exchange written letters on a daily basis in this day and age?

So my mood one week in? I have a hole in my heart because he's not here. It's a similar feeling I had when his oldest sister left for college - but in that case I could call, or text...or go see her for dinner. This is very different. He's in a place where I can't call, or see him - and can only write every other day. That's the first therapeutic intervention for me - reducing the number of letters I write to him. My husband was concerned that it would appear "unbalanced" if I wrote daily and he wrote once a week...and the therapist agreed...so we compromised on me only writing every other day. I knew that I would need to make some changes as part of the family recovery process-- but didn't think it would affect something so fundamental as how often I wrote. The therapist said that most kids only hear from their parents once a week! So, I write every day - but only send the letter every other day.